The Beginning

So today is the first day that I have taken Orlistat. 

I went to the doctor yesterday for ongoing issues with brain things and he was questioning as to whether I felt happier.  I said I wasn’t even sure.  My happiness seems to go directly in line with how I feel about myself.  If I’m fat, I don’t give a shit about what I wear, the mess of my hair, whether I wear make-up or not.  It’s not like I’m one of these people who has a ‘chubby day’ - there’s a marked difference between me at 12 stone and me at 15 and a half stone. 

He then surprised me by offering me Orlistat.  Did not ask for it. Not even sure that I wanted it. 

My first reaction, “Hold on. Are these not the ones that make you shit yourself?” 

Apparently this is only if you don’t follow the diet.  So this could potentially be a motivating factor. 
I don’t want to shit myself when I’m out and about - so I need to avoid fatty foods.

So. Went to pick the medication up this morning.  

I had a grilled chicken and bacon salad - painstakingly cut every bit of fat off of the bacon and even off of the skinless chicken breast - added beetroot, cucumber, tomatoes, carrot and, finally… one cheddar babybel cut into six pieces… which I am shitting myself about, no pun intended. 

It’s been a whole hour. Nothing has happened. But the fear continues. 


Lunchtime reading! FRIDAY!




My first weigh-in was not as horrendous as I thought it would be - I thought that I would be so embarrassed to go back and restart.  
I really thought as well that I had put on every pound that I had lost, but I hadn’t…

Goals this week: 

1) Eating out: Going out for a meal tomorrow night with a friend. Need to make the right choices - have already checked the menu for appropriate food (turkish!)

2) Keeping a diary: Must keep a food diary, and must get SW Consultant to check said diary - will try to diarise the food on her as well, if I have time, which I will, because I’ll make time. 

3) No more take-away: Honestly. Just stop. It’s really not worth it. Crying over honey chilli chicken is not normal.

4) Body Magic: Let’s not pretend it doesn’t exist this time, ay?